Nicole brings Daisy earth-side
Nicole and I had initially connected over social media (where all good friendships have formed during COVID), bonding over our passion and experiences working as midwives within the maternity healthcare systems.
Nicole and Ryan then opted to join my Hypnobirthing Classes in February which were selectively for midwives and birthworkers who were moving into the realms of bringing their own babies earth-side. Nicole spoke with such innate trust and knowing as she described the empowered birth experience that she was planning for and the support network that she was calling in.
It fills me with absolute joy to be gifted the opportunity to share with you the tale of her beautiful birth and how she brought Daisy into the world, into her loving arms, in a space filled with love and adoration.
Thank you so much to Nicole & Ryan for sharing your story — congratulations! :)
Around 38 weeks and in the the middle of the night. That was my gut feeling of when it would all unfold.
Every night from 38 weeks onwards I’d make sure the birth area was clean and ready to go in hope it would be used that night. Put my son to bed wondering if he'd wake up a big brother. Judging every sign my body (which wasn't many). But the days ticked by and we were past our 'due date'. Trying not to get inpatient but more so trying to suppress the thoughts that we would have to change our plans of a home birth to a hospital birth due to postdates. Only a few weeks ago I was worried about transferring due to being too early. Ryan had already been home for a week and was going back to work in two weeks, each day was a day less he'd be at home with the baby.
Normally I'd wake in the morning, disappointed nothing happened overnight.
Friday morning I woke after a pretty decent sleep for being 40+5. Long cramps lingered and I tried not to get too excited but this was the closest sign to labour I had, had yet. For a reason I can't remember, breakfast in bed before school drop off was on the cards, and I enjoyed a lovely breakfast while wondering what my body was doing.
I got up and dressed for school drop off, letting Ryan know I thought things were starting but nothing to get too excited about. The 5 minute walk to drop off was uncomfortable but nothing seemed to be coming and going, just uncomfortable. I stopped and chatted with someone I hadn't seen for a while and then Ryan and I headed home. Our normal routine of walking the dogs seemed a bit too much for me so Ryan took the dogs out, getting told to remain close by.
While he was out I was trying to channel what was happening. I knew my midwife had multiple visits around town that day, me being one of them, so I got in touch with her early on. I jumped on the pump for some nipple stimulation and the very next cramp was more like a contraction. The strength and intensity took me by surprise, and I turned it off, jumped in the shower and decided not to stay in too long in case we need the hot water.
Out of the shower and I put on my comfort show, Friends, while I sat on the ball and surrendered to my body. I was surprised at how quickly the intensity came through, but they were around 7 minutes apart and I knew this could last a while, I just needed them to get closer. Once Ryan got home we decided to start setting up the birth space. I was in touch with my birth team and invited them over when they were ready, but did warn them it could still be a while.
As the morning went on they crept closer together, the intensity was still strong. Breathing through and making whatever noises needed to be made, but staying focused on that minute. As soon as the surge was over its like a light was flicked and I was back in organisation mode, so present in getting ready and organising.
As the morning went on the surges became closer and closer, 6 minutely, then 5, then 3-4. I laid on the couch with my headphones on and listened to my hypnobirthing tracks while the birth pool filled up. Once I got up we realised that the hot water must have stopped so the pool was on the cooler side. We started boiling water, resting the hot water system and working out what to do. My first sister arrived, in-between surges we discussed what to do about my son who was at school. The plan was always to prepare him for the birth so if he was there that's fine but if he wasn't (or was asleep) that's fine too. We would go off his wants. In the week's leading up we had lots of discussion around being at the birth and he made it very clear he wanted to be there and not miss out. So my sister went up and got him from the school. All she had to say to him was 'mum is having tummy pains' and he knew what that meant.
Once she went up to collect my son I knew I needed to jump into the pool and so, just before 1pm, I hopped in the birth pool that was only just warm enough. Ryan continued getting hot water while I enjoyed the blissfulness that is the bath. My son came home very excited, asked if the baby was there yet and then walked away. He always had one of my sister's by his side supporting him, even though they were in another room.
A bit after 1pm my midwife arrived to which I told her I think I had jumped in too early as I felt the surges had spaced out. The intensity was still there, but the breaks were longer. The water in the pool was still too cool so as my birth team arrived they all quickly focused on getting the cool water out of the pool. At 1:25pm my waters released during a surge which I was able to communicate. After that surge both my midwife and I knew how soon some babies arrive once the waters release. So it was a quick change from emptying the cool water to refilling with hot water.
Soon after breathing and vocalising through surges my body turned into a natural urge to bear down. I could feel the baby coming around the bend. We had been bowling in the weeks leading up and all I could think was there was a bowling ball coming around the bend. I kept my hand inside awaiting to feel baby, knowing they were close. The moment I felt the baby's head I knew everything I had been dreaming and wishing for was about to happen. I called for my son to be brought over and it's then that some of my birthing team realised what was happening. Gently bearing down I felt more and more of the baby's head emerge and slowly crown and then I felt the head birth. Overjoyed we allowed for baby to do their thing, I was so present in the moment, remembering to embrace and enjoy the moment. I was also able to feel a nuchal cord which my midwife was able to talk me through. At the next surge I felt the shoulders birth, I kept baby under the water and with assistant from the midwife we untangled the cord which was twice wrapped. I instinctivly pulled baby up and embraced what just happened. A little rub to remind baby they were now with us and a big scream came with it. As a family we looked at our new baby, light hair, big blue eyes, one that looked very different to big brother who had dark hair and dark eyes.
I had a song picked out from before we were even pregnant that I wanted played when my baby was born, so my golden hour playlist was put on as we laid there in absolute awe of our new baby and what had just happened.
Top of my birth preferences was for no one to ask what the gender of the baby was, I wanted to wait and enjoy my baby for who they are and to settle into my baby before finding out. After about 5 minutes we were ready and found out we had our baby girl. Poor big brother wasn't too impressed but he held his emotions strong and examined everything that was going on around him.
I was hoping for a physiological third stage and not long after birth I had a large seperation bleed and began to feel some pressure. We decided to hop out of the pool as it was probably the placenta waiting to come. I gently got out of the pool and walked over to our recovery spot, the midwife got me to do a deep squat supported by Ryan and caught the placenta. The placenta was delivered naturally only 9 minutes post birth.
We had a lovely golden hour (hours). Daisy was very alert and had a strong root so I gently assisted her to the beast and she was in sucking happily. Unfortunately I was passing small clots throughout this time, but was feeling well so we kept and eye on this. A vaginal check revealed a small 1st degree tear and a high labial graze (which I definitely felt!) None of which required stitches and healed wonderfully.
Daisys cord was still pulsing well after placenta delivery and after about 2 hours we decided to cut the cord and assess the placenta. After this Daisy was weighed and shocked us all with her weight because I honestly thought she was so small (my midwife senses were totally off) and weighed 3615g. She then went to Ryan for skin to skin. I got up for a shower, still feeling well but passing clots. I had my beautiful friend stay with me while I showered as she cleaned, put a pad and ice in my undies and made sure I did a wee. By now it was getting late on the afternoon and the midwifes were winding up. We decided it would be best to give a some oxytocin to try stop the clots as we had built up to a 650ml estimated blood loss. This worked a treat and meant I could try forget about my blood loss overnight and focus on my baby. After birth pains hit (thanks second baby) so I made sure I stayed on a strict paracetamol and ibuprofen schedule.
Earlier in the week we had promised Harvey a pizza and movie night and by the time everyone had left we were able to honour that promise. We all tucked in bed eating pizza and watched a movie only 5 hours after Daisy was born.
Daisy fed throughout the night, a while it was a bit pinchy I continued to change her position which she happily latched every time. By the morning the pinchy pain had increased and by day 2 the damage to my nipples was intense.
It was noticeable that her chin was quite receeding and her suck was quite 'gummy', she was unable to poke out or lift up very high which pointed to a posterior Tongue tie. Throughout the week we saw only a 6% initial loss but from there static weight gain. We've worked with multiple lactation consultants, dealt with nipple shields, low supply, medication, top ups, exclusive expressing, seen 2 dentists who both declined revision, osteo, chiro, GP (where I left in tears), 400mls of antenatally expressed colostrum all used, a tin of unopened formula and constant self doubt with everything I've known when it comes to feeding. Almost 10 weeks down the track and we are still working hard, changing the plan daily and trying to make feeding as easy for both of us as we can but we are exclusively breastfeeding without shields (which she decided to wean off).
